Take a break to rejuvenate your relationships or to get a better understanding of them
by Robin Forbes
Last month, my partner and I took a much needed vacation for a week up in Tofino, British Columbia. It was wonderful! Not only is it beautiful in that part of Vancouver Island, but it gave us a chance to relax, not worry about our businesses, and to indulge ourselves a bit.
Even more importantly, the vacation gave us a chance to rejuvenate our relationship. It also was a good time to get a better understanding of the relationship to a degree.
No, our relationship wasn't and isn't in trouble. It's just that sometimes you need to get away from what you normally do in order to gain, re-gain or affirm an appreciation of your partner.
When you get away from the normal hustle and bustle of life you can start really thinking about what's important to you or both of you as the case may be. It's hard to do that when you're involved in the routine work, family and social commitments cycle.
Tofino is actually an ideal place for this type of thinking. Tromping around coastal rainforests where the trees are hundreds and even in some cases thousands of years old, puts a whole new spin on life. Walking on the beaches with the Pacific Ocean pounding the rocky shoreline at sunset awakens the body and makes you feel alive.
So, when we got back home to Victoria, I'm sitting at my computer thinking about our vacation and all this stuff and I have an "Oh yeah!" moment...
A few years back I was exploring the possibilities of going out with a guy that I had met at an online dating service. I should mention that by "met" I hadn't actually met him in the flesh yet. We had been chatting up a storm online and via the phone and things seemed to be moving along; sort of.
I was starting to emotionally black out and ignore signals that I should have recognized. But you know how it is when the wrong head is doing the thinking. Trouble was, even that head wasn't going to get any real action because I was blinded.
I was blinded with virtual lust until I did something really practical and smart…I took some time out for a few days.
During those few days off, I sat down and took a good hard look at where this relationship was headed. I then realized the awful truth - the guy had no intention whatsoever to be anything more than an online virtual fuck buddy.
It was heart breaking for me because that wasn't what I was looking for and I had led myself to believe that the other guy both wanted what I wanted too. With my mind clear, I then confronted him with some point blank questions that left no wiggle room. His answers confirmed that it was time to move on.
Time and again, I've found that when you're getting confused about the direction of the relationships that you're in, you need to take a break, pull back, re-evaluate, and rejuvenate. Try it, you'll be glad you did.
Wishing you joy and success in your relationships!
~§~