Dating Is A Lifetime Occupation or Activity
by Robin Forbes
A thought about dating and relationships keeps on coming back to me, in fact during the past couple of months the importance of the idea is constantly re-enforced. That idea is -- Dating should be a lifetime occupation or activity.
I've looked at my own relationships and also the relationships of my friends and family and come to the conclusion that in order to have a great, long-lasting relationship, couples need to continue to date long after they've hitched up, gone into domestic partnership, got married or whatever...
It doesn't matter if you're in a monogamous or open type of relationship, you still need to go out and date.
If you're into "open" type relationships then you're already used to the idea. But what I've found is that guys, who are monogamous and gone into deep nesting with their partner, sometimes have a problem with this, especially if they're not particularly social animals to begin with.
The other types of couples that have problems with this are the ones where one or both partners are heavily involved or devoted to their work or career.
This can really play havoc with ones relationship. In fact, I'd say that a lot of relationships or marriages that are on the brink of ruin could be or could have been saved or salvaged, if the couples went back to dating.
Now, you may be wondering if I'm saying, "go out with other guys" - No, I'm not.
I'm saying; go out with your guy. Go out on a date with him; call it a "Date". Make it a point to go out and do something fun and special on a regular occasion with your other half. Take your man out on something extra special every now and then, perhaps when he least expects it...
Go and be a couple - that couple who was so in love with each other and wanted to be with each other and do things together; before they turned into strangers or a couple of bumps on the log.
For the guys that are single, I hope you haven't skimmed over all this talk/advice for couples, in their post "marriage" state. (I use the term marriage loosely because it also applies regardless if you've got one of those fancy new documents that everyone is talking about these days.) *grin*
For the single guys, you need to establish some good dating habits now. Because if you do, and you continue to date after you're "married", you're going to have a pretty good relationship with the other guy, that's not going to burn out or stagnate. And then you're not going to become one of those statistics that people love to quote.
Don't make the mistake that a lot of guys make, figuring that once they've landed a boyfriend or permanent partner, they've got it made and that they'll never have to go on a date again. That's a huge mistake and it's an attitude that many guys appear to have.
Once you have a boyfriend, partner or lover; that's just the beginning -- a wonderful beginning.
To keep your "pre-marriage" dating alive, vary the places you go out to, keep it interesting. Your dates can be romantic, weird, simple, fun, quaint, exciting. Whatever, it doesn't matter just as long as you don't fall into a rut.
"Post-marriage", continue to date, continue to be varied, and on occasion use a particular past place or event as a motivation to re-visit that fond dating moment in order to make the current date extra special.
So there you have it, Robin's theory of maintaining a great partnership is to make sure that you date for life.
And on that note, I've got a date to make with my partner.
~§~