In the online dating world there are a number of different types of dating and hook-up sites which fulfill a variety of needs, desires, niches and even fetishes. If you can think of a demographic or niche, there's most likely a site for that these days or if there isn't, it's under construction.
Over the years there's been numerous allegations and a number of lawsuits levelled against a number of dating sites in regards to various fraud allegations. Some of the sites have even been the bigger and "more reputable" sites. Usually in the case of lawsuits the suits have either been dropped or settled out of court for reasons not reported. Some of the cases and allegations include charges of massive fraud, including populating their sites with fake profiles, others of not purging their databases and some of even employing "dating ringers". These ringers are real people employed to take one out on a date but they have no intention of ever actually having sex or striking up a relationship with the hopeful mark.
From laziness to outright planned fraud schemes there's definitely some disappointments and pitfalls awaiting the unwary dater. I will admit that sometimes it's difficult trying to separate the wheat from the chaff; it's one of the reasons why I no longer recommend or affiliate with specific dating and hook-up sites*. But in many cases the scam dating sites can actually be easily detected and avoided.
Tips To Help You Avoid Unscrupulous, Shady Dating Site Operators:
Before joining any dating site take a good long hard look at it and what it offers.
- Does the site look like it's been made out of the same cookie-cutter template as thousands of other dating or personals sites? This may not be the be-all end-all clue as there are only so many ways to effectively structure a webpage and sites do like to copy others but it can be a red flag.
- Does the dating site have a network of other dating websites? I'm talking about a large network. Once again, this may not necessarily mean too much; perhaps the company has a dating site for gay men another for lesbians and another for straight people. But if it owns a network of dating sites for almost every conceivable demographic and niche then that's a warning flag. Chances are they're more interested in pushing porn and/or they're probably not very truthful about the amount of real people that are possible potential partners for dating.
- Does the site look like a porn site? If the dating site does look like a porn site and/or has loads of ads for porn sites then don't expect to find your life-long romantic partner at this type of site. A hook-up for sex...maybe. And even then, in many cases that will be a "big maybe".
- Does the site bombard you with pop-ups and pop-unders and seize or attempt to seize your computer? Regardless of what type of relationship you're looking for stay clear of these, it's obvious that the site operators don't respect their prospective customers and will use any and all means to make a buck off of you.
- Look at the "terms of service" or "conditions" for clues as to how they treat their customers. This information is often found via a link at the bottom of the site's front page and/or on the billing page. Clues to look for include their billing policies, email policies, dispute handling and sometimes even whether or not there are online profiles of employees of various types.
- Does the dating site have an affiliate, associate or webmaster program? Most dating/personals sites do and that's not a bad thing. But checking out the site's affiliate program can be most illuminating. Once again, this link is often found at the bottom of the front page. Things to look for and take note of at the affiliate program site include: How much is being paid out. What the site pays out for and how many different dating sites they operate. Any red flags and you should probably try a different dating site regardless of whether you're looking for a romantic relationship or a quick hook-up.
- Does the site employ geo-targeting? Geo-targeting has become a big part of customisation and advertising on the web and this can be helpful. However, like so many good ideas it can be and is abused far too often. Have you ever noticed an advertisement or a website that said something like: "Click here for singles in [insert your specific geographic location]" or words to that effect. Perhaps you've been to a dating site that said something like: "1000 guys from [insert your city] online now." Those are basic examples of geo-targeting. The problem isn't that they're using geo-targeting per-se; it's that often the reality has nothing to do with who's really available. I've been to sites and seen advertisements that don't lead to finding even one person from my area. I've also been to sites and seen advertisements that inaccurately reflect my true location. Sometimes the reasons for these anomalies are because they're using lousy geo-targeting applications. Other times, it's because the site or advertiser is blatantly trying to pull a fast one. Either way, it doesn't bode well for those of us who may be trying to explore our dating options.
- Does it look like the site is using fake or stolen data? This may not be readily apparent until you've had a chance to go through the members area, but I have checked out dating sites that even on first glance outside the membership area it was easily discernable that the pictures and text were either lifted from other sites or had been purchased specifically to pad the sites in question. It should be obvious but that kind of a site is one to steer clear of; no good will come out of it.
Things To Look Out For After You've Signed Up:
Whether you've signed up for a "Free Trial" or purchased a membership of some sort, here's a few things to look out for once you're inside the membership area.
- Does it look like the site is using fake or stolen data and/or photos? Does it look like the profiles have been posted back when the Internet was first born? Bail out fast. Whether they're padding because they're lazy or because they're big time con artists doesn't really matter. You're not going to find your mate or hook-up at this type of place. As for faked and stolen data and pictures...same deal.
- Once you've joined, do you receive an inordinate amount of attention and a large number of queries to your profile? Although in general new profiles tend to get a lot more attention than older profiles there are limits to the amount of reasonable and genuine interested parties that will check you out and message you. And on a related note, do those messages seem genuine or canned? And if they're canned messages, are they automatic bot messages?
- Once you've joined, (whether for a trial or a paid subscription) do you find yourself being bombarded with spam to your email address? If so, there's a major problem and you need to bail from the "dating site" because you've just entered into a spam generator. Hint: to help mitigate this type of abuse try using a free email address or a second email address from your ISP that you won't mind giving up if it becomes clogged with spam.
- Once you've joined, are you constantly being up-sold to web-cam chats by the other person that's supposedly interested in you? Or for that matter is the site trying to up-sell web-cam chats to you in general? Hint: web-cam guys and web-cam girls aren't interested in going out on a date with you -- period.
- Once you've joined the personals site, is there cross-selling or up-selling to get you to join other dating websites? If so, there's two things you should know. Firstly, the dating site is most likely owned by the same operators and secondly, there's a very good chance that those sites that they're trying to sell you on are just as bogus as the one you're getting the pitch from.
- Is there a lot of cross-selling and advertisements for porn sites? It's really doubtful that you're going to find any real action then. On a few sites, you might actually get lucky and score a sex date but the vast majority of dating sites that operate in this manner are only using their site as another portal to sell or advertise porn. Nothing wrong with porn per-se, I'm just saying that you're probably not going to find a serious date there even if some of the profiles are actually real.
Is There Any Hope of Finding a Real Date Online?
Yes, there is hope of finding a date online. As I've mentioned time and time again on this site, I met my husband through an online dating website. Prior to meeting him I've met a number of guys online through online personals. And I know many guys who've done the same; some of them ended up hooking up, some went on a few dates and a couple even got married like my partner and I did. So it is possible but one must be choosy and exercise some wary due diligence when they're thinking of joining a personals site because there will always be some sleazy operator out there that's determined to make some fast money from some easy marks.
* Author's Note: Dating ads do indeed appear on my site; however I don't have any direct or affiliate relationship with any given site that may be advertised. These ads appear courtesy of Google AdSense.
